Dear Parents,

Investing in a relationship with your teenager is not a new concept. To any of us. As parents, I would tell you nothing new if I said that you should spend time with your teenager to encourage a closer relationship. You already know this. You know that you should spend face to face time with your teen when they have your undivided attention. You know that it is important to spend shoulder to shoulder time with your teenager when you are doing something with them that they enjoy.

Yes, you know in your head all the “right” things you, as a parent, should do to invest in building a stronger relationship with your teenager. Then there is the proverbial “but” that we all throw in when contemplating just how to make this work out realistically.

“But” my teenager is always buried in their phone!

“But” my teen always just wants to be with their friends!

“But” my teenager just won’t talk to me!

“But” my teen doesn’t even seem to notice me let alone like me.

For some reason, we tend to gauge our effectiveness and success as a parent according to our teens current reactions and responses. We must remember that our teenagers are still trying to figure out who they are in this big world, so their reactions and responses are often the result of pure emotion.

I want to encourage you to look past all of their reactions and responses and keep building that relationship! Even when it seems you are the only one that seems to care. That’s hard! But then what part of this parenting journey hasn’t been difficult to some extent? Can I remind you that the rewards are well worth it?

Remember when you had to watch them fall time and again when they were learning to walk, and the time you had to walk away on the first day of kindergarten, or the time you held them as they cried because their best friend decided to have a different best friend?

There are going to be times when our teens are just not going to understand our motives. And that’s ok. As long as they know we love them, they can trust us even if their phone is permanently attached to their hand!

Here’s a quick video with more thoughts:

Did you know that the meaning of relation is “being connected to, or linked to.” It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that meaning. The “ship” of relationship means “state of being.” So basically, the word “relationship” means the state of being linked or connected to another person. Hmmm.

My mind cannot wrap itself around the fact that the great God of this universe which He made in just a few short days not with the sweat of His brow but by the mere sound of His words desires the “state of being connected” to us! Mind blowing but true.

So let me take a step back for just a minute. He wants to build a strong relationship with me, His child. I want to build a strong relationship with my teenager, my child. So we are truly not alone in this parenting thing, are we? He knows the frustration of not being listened to, of being ignored, of being disobeyed. He knows how I feel as a parent!

I know, some of you who read this are saying, “Yeah, but He is God!” Which means He knows what He is doing, and we, as parents, can trust that! We mess up, but He doesn’t. How awesome is it to know a parent who has never once messed up in parenting their child!

There is a verse in Matthew 11 that I truly believe was put there, because God knew that parents would desperately need to hear it. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and LEARN from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light!”

As a parent, one of the greatest things you will ever invest in is a strong relationship with your teenager. Ask God how it’s done! Search His word and learn how Jesus invested in those He mentored! He wants you to have a strong relationship with your teenager as much as He wants one with you!

Tweetable Thoughts

  • Matthew 11:28- 30 “Learn from me…” #Godspromises
  • If your teenager loves to text, then text them daily!
  • Ask for your teenager to give you ideas on what they think is something fun to do! #betterideasthanmine
  • Tell your teen you love them.  Daily.  Even if you never have before!
  • You are born into relations.  You choose to build relationships!
  • Look what happened to Wall Street during the Great Depression when everyone pulled their investments out!  Don’t quit investing in your relationships!
  • Did you know that all ten commandments are about relationship?  That’s how important it is to God!
  • Relationship is the state of being connected.  Have you connected today?
  • He said, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” #Ineedanap, #parentingcanfeellonely
  • Parenting doesn’t have to be lonely.  You just have to look up! #Wearehereforyou,

Feel free to forward this email to other parents of teenagers and have them email me if they would like to join our online parenting class.

 If you want to see previous issues you can view them here:

Tim Hamm – Threshold Jr (Grade 6-8) –
Mathew Povey – High School Ministry (Grade 9-12) –