Ps 139:23 says “search me and try my ways.” Asking you to search my heart is a challenging thing. This will mean that our Lord will examine and yes, reveal to me those weak areas, those areas that are not consistent with the heart and nature of our Lord. This will mean that I will need to do something with what He is showing me, what He is not pleased with.
If God were to examine my heart perhaps He might say something like. “You are a frail one, you are one with many weaknesses and many inabilities. But will you not trust that I, the Lord, can even work through that which is the weakest thing in your life. Will you not see that these flaws are actually for your protection for the furtherance of My kingdom. You have said “would I not be more fruitful if I were different, if I were more able?”; and yes, in your strength there would be more accomplished, you would see more busyness, but it would be that which is of your strength, and not that which is of My strength. For I have created you even as a flawed one, one who has blemishes, that the power and the excellence and the true building and the true foundation would be of me and not of yourself. ”
“Yes you are grieved with yourself and with your nature, how flawed it is. But surely this is, so you would need Me more and seek Me more and shine more of Me. In the midst of your messy life, and your marred image, I am shining even as a Light that shines through the muddy places upon the vase. Even as the sun shining through the clouds which seem so dark and dismal. So also your life is dark and dismal, that the brightness of Me light would shine clearly and brightly. I will break forth as a shining light peaks through the mud encrusted layers on the vessel, the lamp, that you are created to be.”
“Yes, O broken one and weak one. I desire that the glory and the excellency would be of Me and not of you.”
Lord Jesus, help me to remember that which You have spoken and to walk in the confidence of this Your word unto me.